The First Week Of The Spiritual Exercises The Complete Section containing Chapters 7 through 9 These next three chapters, along with a portion of Chapter Six, represent a way of guiding directees through the First Week of the Exercises journey according to notation [19]. If a prayer guide were to follow these instructions closely, this phase would be completed within a month. However, as you will continue to notice, these pages illustrate a flexible approach rather than a rigid formula. Therefore these chapters could represent a longer or shorter period of time. They are intended to be like the bellows of an accordion which can be expanded or contracted according to the feel and need of the music being played.
> Chapter Seven Some General Observations Listening To The Beginning Of The First Week Overall Dynamic Of The First Week Introducing Prayer Unit 7 With The Second Exercise Before you read the suggestions for the coming interview, it will be helpful to familiarize yourself again with notations [6], [7], [8], [9], [12], [13], [14], [16], [17], along with the First Set of Guidelines for Discerning Spirits [313]-[327]. These notations and Guidelines will become part of your "tool kit" for discernment now and for the rest of the Exercises journey. Once recognized, understood and practised, these will help you to understand why you discern and make the judgements you do. This empowers you to grow in the skill and art of prayer guidance. Note that this First Set of Guidelines for Discerning Spirits is introduced as being more suited to the First Week [313]. The supposition is that these "rules" are flexible guidelines. As with most guidelines, there are times when they may not be suitable at all. Perhaps plain common sense is all that you need to use. A person falling asleep in prayer may not be experiencing Desolation; it may simply be fatigue or a case of sleep apnoea!(1) This First Set refers not so much to the First Week but rather to a directee who is in a less sophisticated phase of stage of spiritual growth at this moment in life. This means these guidelines could be applicable all through the Exercises journey and through one's entire life. One may never need the Second Set of Guidelines. Even when the Second Set is more applicable, the First Set may continue to be applicable and vice versa. To believe otherwise is to think of human living in a very static way. Note that the directees for whom the First Set is intended are "the persons who are going on intensely cleansing their sins and rising from good to better in the service of God our Lord" [315]; that is, good persons who are seeking to grow in God's love and service.(2) They are still struggling with many Inordinate Attachments and sometimes obvious temptations and habits which interfere with their following of Jesus [9] -- being tempted by the opinions of others, fear of difficult struggles, desire for status, etc.(3) The First Set of Guidelines is often still needed throughout all the Weeks of the Exercises journey and, certainly, during life afterwards. At first, listen to your directee's experience of the week more generally and, only later, more specifically: "What has been happening in your prayer experience of the past week? ..."(4) Your directee's answer to such a general question might give you the information you need to know without asking many more questions. Obviously your questions should not be in the style of an interrogation, but you will need to discover some of the following: What has been his felt appreciation of the context of God's mercy and protection? ... Has he been distressed with fear or apprehension? ... What has been his general mood during the past week, both in and outside the prayer exercises? ... Has he been able to fulfil his commitment to the time for the prayer exercises? ... Has he been in Consolation or Desolation? These are some of the questions that are at the back of your mind regarding the First Week as a whole. When you listen to your directee, your key work is to reflect back and highlight his articulation of his own prayer experiences so that he will notice what is going on in them. If the technical terms of Consolation and Desolation have not yet been used, it may not be helpful to use them with your directee at this point. It would be better to use such words as comfort/discomfort, meaningful/not meaningful, easy/difficult, something there/nothing there, ease/struggle, etc. If your directee is experiencing some difficulty in entering the exercises of the First Week, the words that you use to understand what is going on in his interior experience are less important than your discovering the issues behind the difficulty. After listening to your directee's general experience of, and on the supposition that your directee has in fact made some headway with, the First Week, move to questions that deal more specifically with the content of the First Exercise: "Let's look more closely at that First Exercise. How did you find it? ..." or "Let's look at your day-to-day experience of prayer. What has been happening in your heart? ..." or "Do you feel that you have been receiving the grace of the First Exercise? ..." Through a few of these more precise questions, you are attempting to discover some of the following information: Has he been asking for the Grace? Does he feel that he has been receiving the Grace of shame and confusion? If so, how has he been experiencing this gift? If not, why not? Has he continued to express his real feelings and to bring his real self to God? Has he attempted to follow any of Ignatius' instructions? Which of the three points struck him? How did he react? How has he prayed the Colloquy -- to Jesus or with Jesus? If not with Jesus (that is, allowing Jesus to express himself to him), why not? Did he imagine Jesus on the cross before him or did he escape from this more personal encounter by using a crucifix or picture? Obviously, these aspects are also at the back of your mind and are not for an interrogation session with your directee! You might be wondering at this point: "Why so structured? Why be so careful about the exact use of Ignatius' text? Does it really matter?" At this point, remembering my supposition that you are dealing with a directee who has reached the Contemplative Attitude or who has been touched deeply by God's love, the focus of your discernment questions is whether he has actually been doing the prayer exercises [12], [13]. Once you recognize that he has been doing them, you can pull right back and stand, as Ignatius suggests, "in the centre like a balance" [15]. Then your focus for discernment is whether he is in Consolation or Desolation. Once your directee is doing the prayer exercises and is moving ahead in true Consolation, you will have very little to do as a prayer guide since God is communicating more immediately [15] and is disposing him [5]. When he is in Desolation, you will have more to do; you will be asking yourself what it may mean.(5) Obviously, if you are dealing with a directee who is still developing the proper dispositions to make the Exercises journey, but using the material of the Exercises text to do so, your approach will that described in the first six chapters of this manual and in Chapter 31, "The Early Stages In Ongoing Spiritual Direction." In this situation, you will be doing all you can through teaching, encouraging, active and reflective listening, conversing, correcting images of God, helping him notice, etc. -- and all this is to help lead him to the Contemplative Attitude. You may have to do this patiently and gently for a very long time! Hence, none of the above concerns about his entering into the specifics of the prayer exercises may be important! Towards the end of this interview, introduce Prayer Unit 7. Here you will be giving two different prayer exercises for the coming week; namely, the Second and the Third Exercise, the latter one being for the prayer period marked f). Simply indicate to your directee when the Third Exercise is to be done and tell him that you will go into it next week. There is no further need here to explain it. The reason the Third Exercise is in this prayer unit is to enable the directee to deal experientially with it before your explanation. This will also be the case at other points in later prayer units. Learning takes place more effectively when there is a felt need! Most of your remarks will concern the Second Exercise. The following is a way of introducing it: a) "Let's read through this Second Exercise together. (Take time to read it together.) Notice that this exercise invites you to look at your personal history of sin. Last week you were praying on how God is saving us from the sin situation into which we are all born. The evil we experience is part of our human family, of our environment, and of our relationships to them. Throughout our own lives we contribute to it. Sinful structures and the environment of iniquity continually affect us all. We, in turn, have sinned against others and have contributed to those sinful structures. Now you are being invited to acknowledge and bring your own self with your own disordered or sinful history to God's forgiving love...." b) "Look at the c) "You may feel moved to continue the Colloquy with Jesus on the cross...." d) "Of the five points that Ignatius gives in this exercise, the first is very important. Let's look at it. It is a review of all one's sins `... bring to memory all the sins of one's life, looking from year to year, or from period to period, etc.' This sounds like the fourth step of the Twelve-Step A.A. program or like the examination of conscience in some Christian traditions. If you think it is important to make such a detailed accounting here,(6) then it may be wise to do so as part of this exercise. Remember you are dealing with a God who is love, not with a person who needs every little account settled. The way to go about this point is with the Risen Lord. Ask him to take you hand-in-hand down memory lane -- now looking at this, then looking at that. Let memories bubble to the surface. Allow memories to touch off other memories. Talk to Jesus about them, and with him, try to come to some understanding of the sin dimensions of your past. In many ways we are our past, and broken and sinful dimensions of our lives often stay with us. They influence our choices even now and into the future.... Recall the sin events of your past with detail. Look at the persons involved. Listen to what they are saying. For example, you might look at how you cheated in a game of marbles in elementary school.... See your decision to do so.... See the marbles.... Be with the kids with whom you were playing.... Dialogue in imagination with them.... Try to get hold of the incipient evil within that one event.... Talk with Jesus about it and ask him for the gift of true sorrow...." e) "As you pray through these exercises, you will become more and more aware of the sin dimensions of your life and how they continue to affect your decisions and choices. They are part of your Composition; that is, they are a real part of your own personal environment that you carry around with you. So, as you enter into each prayer exercise, compose yourself with all the dimensions that God is revealing to you. For example, you could begin tomorrow's prayer with that same image of being "trapped" that you used in the prayer exercise last week. But now include that sense of smallness you experienced last Monday or that inappropriate anger you experienced with the salesperson on Friday. Enter into prayer being trapped and being small ... and with that inappropriate anger on Friday.... Be all that with God.... This is your truth as you enter into prayer.... Your truth is also that you are loved even in your being trapped and small and flying off the handle...." f) "As you pray with these different exercises of the First Week, you will probably discover how one prayer exercise blends into another. You will also become aware of how you need to carry unfinished business from one prayer exercise into another...." Comments That Apply Generally To The First Week As mentioned before, once you are satisfied that your directee is doing the spiritual exercises as faithfully as possible, your role begins to shift. Now, you, as guide for the Exercises, are to remain on the sidelines -- letting God do the revealing and communicating [15]. If your directee is allowing interior movements to take place and proceeding in Consolation, you will have very little to do. A greater challenge will take place when your directee is being affected by spiritual Desolation. In this situation, recall the remarks I made in the third chapter. There I discussed the importance of reflective listening to encourage a directee to express his real feelings to God, and I suggested that this is particularly appropriate when a directee's prayer shows the beginning signs of resistance. Usually, Desolation is a result or symptom of resistance. This does not imply that Desolation is bad and Consolation is good. God communicates and teaches about God's self and God's relationship to us through both kinds of experiences. However, in Desolation, a directee is more susceptible to discouragement, inappropriate decisions, false guilt, etc. There is one experience of Desolation which is often a part of the experience and gift of forgiveness for which the directee is praying. It is the experience of being helpless, separated and impotent; it is often associated with the emerging gifts of sorrow and tears. Generally, soon after, it is followed by the experience of Jesus' forgiving love. Confronted by such a phenomenon of Desolation, you can: Encourage faithfulness to prayer [13]. Remind your directee that Consolation will soon return and that he must believe and wait patiently [321]. Rekindle his trust that God is around although hidden [320]. Listen while gently reflecting back his feelings with an understanding of what is only implied or hesitantly articulated. Encourage him to express these feelings to God. Encourage him to go to Jesus as saviour -- "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me a sinner." Two Dynamic Models Of The First Week If one were to plot these experience as models, they would look something like the ones on the next two pages. These are models of the kinds of experiences that may take place during the First Week. The represent two generalized patterns that many directees will have encountered by the time they complete the First Week. Perhaps you may be able to recognize one of these patterns from your own experience of the First Week on the Exercises journey. These dynamic models are based on a distillation from the many different ways directees generally experience the First Week. Realize, however, that these phenomena may not take place at all and your directee may be led according to his unique needs at this time, not necessarily according to a dynamic model of the process. Model #1: Smooth, Wave-Like Movement click to enlarge click to enlarge The first dynamic model of the "typical" First-Week experience is illustrated by a smooth, wave-like movement.(7) Illustrated by this model is a downward cycle of Desolation that usually occurs. Frequently it is preceded by dryness which masks negative feelings -- anger, hurt, hostility, rage, resentment, pain, etc. -- touched off by the prayer material. The psyche is distancing itself from these unwanted feelings. In the struggle that ensues, the directee often experiences a sense of hopelessness and separation. Then there emerges a profound awareness of his helplessness to get out of this on his own. In this awareness, he experiences the effects of evil in his life. This is the deep-felt knowledge of sin that he asks for during the Third Exercise. In conjunction with this experience and awareness, often there springs: Some enlightenment concerning the nature of his own personal complicity with evil; An awareness of his need for Jesus as his personal saviour; An experience of God's forgiving love. Model #2: Sail Boat Moving Through Storms click to enlarge click to enlarge The second dynamic model of the "typical" First-Week experience is illustrated by a sail boat encountering a series of storms and emerging from each encounter with a certain level of resolution. We could call it a dialectical model because it is like the clash of thesis versus antithesis moving into synthesis in a repeated fashion. This model represents the First-Week experiences taking place in a less thematic way than in the previous model. It often takes place when a prayer guide is using the From-Outside-In(8) approach with a directee. Accordingly she leads her directee into the First Week by proposing the material and then waits for the directee's reactions and responses to the material proposed. Thus the directee reacts or responds here, there, back again, searching for the desired Grace, waiting for the enlightenment to be given in God's time. At first the directee experiences the prayer exercises as making little sense: "The First Exercise is too foreign." ... "The Second Exercise contains too much material." ... "The Third Exercise is too mechanical." ... "The Fourth Exercise is not much different from the Third." ... "The Fifth Exercise is unbelievable!" Very little makes any sense. He can not relate to the material. There is a sense of confusion and anger that he is being asked to pray over such negative things! He knows that he has sinned but he isn't that bad! There is misunderstanding or an inability to relate easily to this material. Then by the time he has done Prayer Unit 7 or 8, something important begins to happen. A kind of patient waiting begins to emerge and glimmers of the possibility of relating to such material takes place. Then one or other of the Graces being prayed for begins to manifest itself. Little by little there is a deepening of sorrow or enlightenment, now a bit of freedom, an insight, now shame, now a sense of helplessness. Through each of these "stormy" moments, as his blindness is gradually removed, the directee sees a little more clearly and some of the First-Week graces emerge: Amazing grace! how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me! I once was lost, but now am found, Was blind, but now I see. Desolation Can Lead To Deeper Encounter With God From these two models it can easily be understood how Desolation is often the prelude to a deeper encounter with God. A directee's Desolation often indicates an unwillingness to let Jesus save him. It often conceals that less-than-conscious and false belief to which each person is heir; namely, that I need to fix myself up before I can allow myself to be loved or forgiven! Hence a prayer guide must learn not to rescue her directee from this experience. The practical wisdom in dealing with your directee is to encourage him according to notations [7] and [8], all the while waiting for him to work through the desolating experiences with God. If your directee needs a little more help, explain the three reasons for Desolation given in notation [322]. By doing this, you heighten your directee's awareness that he is experiencing Desolation and needs to be patient. It may be more appropriate in a later interview to engage your directee in a discussion about the possible meaning of the Desolation. Then, during the prayer exercises, he can work with God to discover its meaning and can wait for God's enlightenment. Working through such experiences with God is always preferable to your giving him active help. From such experiences, learning takes place at a greater depth [2]. This deep-felt understanding empowers your directee to recognize and deal with such experiences on his own. Perhaps here in this interview, but certainly at other times along the journey, you will need to assist your directee more actively to work through the meaning of the Desolation. Frequently this is accomplished by helping him to isolate the issues behind the Desolation, and then, by encouraging him to act against the Desolation and to persevere patiently [13], [319], [321]. In attempting to discover the significance of the Desolation, remember that it is not your understanding that you are seeking, but rather the meaning that makes sense to your directee; that is, the perspective that fits his meaning-scheme, not your own. For example, you may perceive his struggle as an inability to let Jesus forgive him. This is the sentence and judgement that fits your own personal understanding, but as the interview progresses, you come to realize that this understanding does not quite fit his own meaning of the experience which he comes to express as "fear of trusting Jesus." "Fear of trusting Jesus" fits his meaning-scheme and captures for him the meaning of his Desolation. It gives him a better handle to deal with the issue much more effectively than your interpretation. Once he has a handle on the issue that may be involved in the Desolation, he can proceed to deal with the Desolation according to notations [319]-[321]. A prayer guide's role is always to help the directee to come to his own meaning. Prayer guides and spiritual directors don't have to know exactly what is going on in a directee's experience. Their role is to recognize that the directee knows what is going on!(9) Typical Issues That Occur During The First Week Many directees enter into the First Week without a real belief in personal evil and its effects. They do not like some of their behaviours and limitations. Often they feel unacceptable and unworthy, and they dislike some of the ways that they get irritable and judge others. However, they do not understand how sin and evil are part of these. Most directees would admit and believe that there is sin and evil in society in general. In their own lives, they might still be suffering from abusive experiences of the past. Close to where they live, there are often crimes, drugs, violence, greed, etc. Further removed, there are wars and injustices perpetrated around the globe. They understand that such events emerge out of national pride, desire for wealth, and desire to protect economic systems. They might feel a kind of guilt because they "have it so good" while others do not. They would probably put all these under the heading of evils or sin but not under the heading of their own personal sins. They really `disbelieve' that they are personally responsible for any real evil. Consequently, they do not really believe that they are capable of refusing God's love in a fundamental way. There are many reasons for this: a) In a more classicist worldview, particularly before the early sixties, Christians were taught that sin was something people did or omitted in a clear and distinct way. b) At that time, sexual misbehaviour was stressed so much that it was looked upon as the key form of immorality. Next in line were drunkenness and loss of temper. c) We have come to attribute inappropriate behaviour to psychological causes only; for example, irritableness to a lack of communication skills; competition to unconscious needs for approval; etc. d) Popular religious language has trivialized and confused the notion of what is sinful by referring to human limitations as weaknesses and weaknesses as sins. e) Until recently, the scientific method led us to believe that evils, and hence sin, can be remedied with sufficient research. f) Our `private' lives have become separated from our `public' lives. We think of personal sin as belonging to a private world. In the public sphere of business and other institutional activities, we recognize sin in others, in groups, or in the system beyond our private lives. We do not think of ourselves as sinners in the public domain. In that domain, we often change our value systems in the same way we put on special clothes for special public activities -- business clothes for business, evening clothes for evening events, sports wear for recreational activities. g) The popular media has made evil and sin ordinary and trivial,(10) and at the same time has self-righteously exaggerated our idealistic expectations for total functionality and wholeness. Our cultural disbelief in sin influences various reactions to the prayer material of the First Week. This is certainly the case with the generous directee who worries that he can't think of any sins to pray over. Another directee cannot appreciate deeper dimensions of sin because he gives too much importance to his past experiences of disordered sexuality. Yet another has been so affected by some past event -- his own sin or someone else's sin against him or some hurt or block to forgiving, etc. -- that he cannot transcend the negative feelings, the false guilt or the sense of unworthiness so that he is able to pray about sin in different facets of his life. Most persons entering the First Week fail to appreciate how mysterious and incomprehensible evil really is. This is even true of those directees who bring a lot of conscious guilt to the First Week. Jesus said that we prefer the darkness (Jn 3:19). Evil blinds us to its own significance. Why do we have such difficulties in transcending early traumatic experiences? For years, we repress hurtful things; we continue to hold on to negative feelings that erupt in unexpected ways. Why is it that, in spite of all our efforts to extricate ourselves from the power of something that happened years ago, we find ourselves still controlled by it? We repress; we avoid; we don't even recognize the sophisticated techniques we use to deny what is in our hearts. The mystery of iniquity is at work even when we cannot claim it clearly or call it by its right name! It is a truth of spiritual theology that only God can reveal sin to us. Often we get a glimmer of it on our own. Often a prayer guide will capture a glimmer of it in a directee; but that's all. Only God can give a directee the revelation he needs to become free from its hold on his choices in life. However, a prayer guide can steer a directee in helpful directions with a few practical tips such as one or other of the following: "Perhaps you could consider how you have been `sinned against' and the effects of that in your behaviour towards others...." "Don't spend too much time considering your sexual misbehaviour. There is other evil in our lives -- sometimes far more significant evil...." "Rather than looking for sin as things you deliberately have done or omitted, start to look at areas you would call faults.... You could ask your husband or children to write out a checklist of possible faults of yours! ... It might be interesting! ... How do others really see you? ... What are your two or three characteristics that really "bug" others? ..." "Perhaps you need to pray for freedom from resentment. It strikes me that you are hanging on to your resentment! ..." "Perhaps you first need the power to forgive yourself.... Perhaps you could pray for that gift all next week...." "Ignatius is not so much interested in attempting to show what a great sinner you are -- rather what a great sinner you could have been if God was not loving you so much! ..." "Why is it that great saints always considered themselves great sinners? I wonder if they were exaggerating. Or could it have been a cultural thing to do just as in our culture we psychologize sin.... " "In the New Testament, Jesus had less trouble with the adulterers than he did with the Pharisees. The Pharisees were good people; they practised virtue. Yet the way Jesus treated them was as if they were greater sinners than the adulterers! Do you think that they were? ..." With almost every directee making the Exercises, it is more helpful, wherever the prayer exercises use "sin," to use terms and phrases such as `disordered behaviour,' `disorder,' sinfulness, going against God's desires, compromising with evil, etc. Such words and phrases have more practical significance for your directee than the use of the word "sin" by itself; they represent aspects that remain within him long after the forgiveness for sin is received. Disordered Affections will continue to influence his decisions in life even when he has become free from sinning. If God so chooses, God will reveal later the particular areas that should be called sins. These disorders without God's grace -- such is their inherent thrust or internal inertia -- are capable of leading to eternal loss. We would be lost now without God's love all through our lives! That is how dependent we are! From the comments so far, it would seem that we presume that directees are in the `state of sin' before they experience the graces of the First Week -- that directees need to move from the personal condition of being separated from God's love to the `state of grace.' This is not the presumption. Most of the directees you will meet are already in the state of God's love -- the state of `sanctifying grace.' However, what we are presuming is that through this First-Week experience, they will be moving from the state of grace to the experience of the grace they already possess -- from being in God's love to experiencing God's love. I am also presuming that a prayer guide disposes the directee for this added `actual grace' by using the same materials as if he were disposing a directee for the kind of conversion implied in the movement from sin to grace! Here in the Exercises journey, our hope is that directees will receive this added grace as a result of praying the First Week. Hopefully, this added grace will give them such freedom from the sin-effects in their lives that Inordinate Attachments will not influence the choices which they are likely to make in the next six months. Summary Specifically: Refer to notations [1]-[17] and First Set of Guidelines for Discerning Spirits [313]-[327]. Check to see whether directee is actually following instructions. Notice how directee relates to sin: Consolation or Desolation? False or true image of sin? Avoidance or too much introspection? Begin to engage directee in determining what needs Repetition. Encourage hope and self-awareness. Notice if the Grace is emerging. Introduce Prayer Unit 7: Explain new Grace; Indicate how to pray First Point with memory and imagination and distinguish from examination of conscience. Generally: Important to reflect back feelings behind resistance. Generalized patterns of First-Week experience: May not take place at all; Are ways of understanding a dynamic that is manifested more uniquely in each directee. Desolation of helplessness is often a prelude to graces of First Week: Directees moving toward experience of helplessness first encounter dryness which may mask negative feelings; Helplessness may result from unwillingness to let Jesus save; Includes a kind of dying and rising; Guide is sometimes object of projections as directee sometimes misunderstands; Sometimes important to isolate issue behind Desolation or dryness; Guide invites directee to look for issues himself. Guide helps directee work through to his own meanings, not her meaning. Typical issues which affect First-Week prayer: Cultural disbelief in sin as personal responsibility; Inability to think of any sins; Traumatic past event hinders further discovery even in other areas of life; Sin is mystery; Inability to understand is part of mystery of evil; Only God can reveal sin. Guide can help: To focus on some area that will dispose directee for enlightenment; To encourage directee to focus on disordered behaviours or attitudes rather than sins. Directee moves from being in relationship with God to experiencing that very relationship. Chapter Eight Listening To The Second Exercise Repetition Hidden Sinful Tendencies Introducing Prayer Unit 8 By now your directee will have been praying the First Week for about fourteen days. Begin the interview in much the same way as you did the last one; that is, moving from the general to the specific. Note how he has entered into this Second Exercise on personal sin: Has he entered into the exercise in some significant way? How has he disposed himself for the Grace? Is he praying for it and receiving it? Is he looking at his past in a helpful way -- remembering ... seeing the events with his imagination ... dwelling on and trying to grasp as well as he can the context of evil in which his own personal history is situated? Is he beginning to grasp how he has contributed to this? What is preventing him from doing so? What different way of looking at his past might help him to be more disposed for the Grace for which he is praying? Does he appreciate how God has been protecting him continuously from the inertia of sin in his life? Hopefully, your directee has been entering into the sin awareness exercises at ever-deepening levels. As the interview progresses, it is important that you encourage: a) Concreteness This is opposed to vague generalizations. When your directee talks about coming to grips with his self-centredness, you might ask him: "What do you mean by self-centredness? Could you give some examples of what you mean? ..." Your directee's one or two examples might suffice to show that he is dealing with the real stuff of his life and that he is calling it by its right name. In these examples, you should also note whether he is beginning to recognize some relationship between his "self-centredness" and other departments of his life; for example, either taking too much responsibility or not taking enough responsibility at the job can be forms of self-centredness. b) Realism This is opposed to seeing evil/sin where it does not exist or to exaggerating the unimportant. What is important is that your directee is dealing with significant aspects of his life. People have to make mistakes in order to develop as mature responsible adults. Wallowing in guilt over developmental mistakes may not dispose a directee for facing real guilt. Wallowing in guilt over the sins that we have committed in growing up may interfere with those more subtle contributions to evil now. This can be a form of avoidance or denial of one's present complicity in evil. Significant life-issues are connected inevitably to other significant life-issues. It is not important that he deal with everything in his life nor that he deal with what you yourself think he should be dealing with. c) Growth In Self-Knowledge And Self-Awareness There is no growth in the spiritual life without a deepening appreciation of one's own sinfulness and the interior and exterior reactions that are influenced by it. The more intimate one is with the Holy, the more one recognizes one's own lack of holiness. They say that saints see themselves as great sinners. "Amazing grace" is experienced by "a wretch like me." Hence, you hope that your directee is beginning to grow in a meaningful knowledge of his sinfulness. At times, you will wonder whether this is taking place at all! However, proceed trusting that God, sooner or later, will reveal to your directee what needs to be revealed. This may take three months even though, according to our hypothetical plan represented in the prayer units, it should have taken place in one month! Now that your directee has entered into the dynamic of the Exercises, your listening style will encourage this self-knowledge and awareness. It will help to determine the content for the next prayer unit which involves a series of Repetitions. Now, even more than before, gently accent significant aspects that seem to be implied behind the words. For example: "You seem to be jealous of Mary." "You seem to interpret those situations to gain pity for yourself." "What you seem to be saying is that you really resent the children and you feel guilty about that." "It strikes me that it's not the resentment that's the sin.... It's what you let it do to you.... You are letting it control your whole life!" "Maybe you could express that anger to God!" "You seem to be afraid of what God might ask you to do if you changed." "You said you felt like a fraud.... Maybe you have to face the fact that you are one!" "You want the power of money and respect more than you want God." "Somehow you fear that people will find out you are a phoney." "I get the impression that you prefer to nurture the anger against him." "You really don't believe you can be forgiven." "Whenever that situation arises, you seem to be very powerless." Through such active and reflective listening, you are beginning to encourage your directee to look at deeper issues behind some of the things he is saying. As well, you are preparing him for the next prayer unit. This unit involves a looking behind one's sins in order to be enlightened concerning the influence of the `world' and the consequent Hidden Disordered Tendencies in one's life. Now, you are not just feeding back what you are hearing; you are explicitly helping your directee to make tentative interpretations concerning what he has been expressing to you.(11) d) Repetition As you listen and gently feed back what you hear, note how your directee returns to unfinished business from earlier prayer exercises. Is he using the Review to become aware of how he needs to spend more time on some emerging movement, an emerging insight, Consolation, or Desolation? Is the Review helping him notice where and how he is skirting some significant issue? The Third Exercise The Third Exercise of this First Week is extremely important [62], [63]. It introduces the directee explicitly to the notion of Repetition which is a key technique that fosters spiritual reactions which make up the dynamic of the Exercises. Over a series of prayer exercises and days, Repetition allows the directee's interior reactions and responses to unfold their inherent meaning. This honours God's movements taking place in the directee's heart. By the time of the Third Exercise, Ignatius presumes that the directee has some ability to recognize, on his own, the need for Repetition.(12) The Third Exercise introduces the Triple Colloquy which always indicates a significant phase of the Exercises journey.(13) This instrument of growing enlightenment and freedom is a way for the directee to exercise himself so that he will become free enough to receive the gifts which God desires to give him. The Triple Colloquy can help a directee to remove blockages and to detect the below-the-surface, disordered tendencies in his heart which could undermine his decision-making process later in the journey. With respect to using the Triple Colloquy, directees from more Protestant traditions often have difficulty in making a Colloquy with Mary and saying the vocal prayer, the "Hail Mary." In this situation you might suggest some adaptation such as making a Colloquy with the Holy Spirit in addition to the one with Jesus and with the Father. Later on, the Triple Colloquy will be introduced again. But then it will be after the Gospel Contemplations on the early life of Jesus during which even directees from Protestant traditions will have found themselves conversing with Mary, with Joseph and with the shepherds! Through their own experiences of Gospel Contemplation, they usually come to understand that these conversations do not contradict our common Christian belief that Jesus is the only priest and mediator between themselves and God. The Third Exercise instructs the directee to ask for three Graces in addition to the other Graces which they are seeking. For the directee, this is very complicated, mechanical, and confusing. Nevertheless, if he follows these instructions carefully, something beautiful and simple usually begins to take place. The mechanics begin to fade away. The directee's prayer seems to become a continual conversation with genuine intimacy. The directee finds himself praying for things he was resisting a day or two earlier. Where before he did not even want to look at the evil in the choices of his life, now he is praying for the desire to look at this area with depth and to do something concrete about it. This exercise can heighten the directee's awareness of the influences of the `world' on the decisions he makes.(14) These influences range from the obvious to the more subtle -- all the way from the greed, competition, and materialism of our economic system to our unconscious mental structures. How do you introduce this Third Exercise? First, reflect with your directee upon his experience of attempting it in period f) last week and give instructions accordingly. At times it may be helpful to read the text of Ignatius together and to share, from your own experience, the meaning of a few relevant concepts, such as Repetition, greater Consolation, greater Desolation, interior knowledge, the `world,' Hidden Disordered Tendencies, etc. Take care not to destroy the interview by trying to discuss too much. It is helpful to introduce the concept of Hidden Disordered Tendencies because it accents the hidden quality of the directee's interior affections and tendencies that God must order if the directee is going to respond effectively. It also helps the directee to notice how the `world' is influencing his choices. This concept includes the underlying tendencies kept hidden not only by his own blindness but also by the subtle influences of the `world.' This concept can be introduced with a familiar image such as that of the iceberg. When I am in session with a directee, I usually draw the model of the proverbial iceberg of which only one-seventh is visible above the water line. This illustrates how the more invisible and submerged levels of the mystery of iniquity affect our hearts more profoundly than many of our more visible faults. Then I explain how the exercise invites him to begin to pray with those personal areas represented by Level 2. He already has some awareness of these. Using this level as prayer material will dispose him for the enlightenment he needs concerning Level 3. This third level is the level of our culture and institutions which have a profound influence on our choices. Level 1 These are the activities of which one is aware or semi-aware: "... the things I do, I don't want to do" (Rom 7:15). This is the area of one's sins, faults and actions which flow from the disordered tendencies in one's heart.(15) It includes those behaviours and approaches that directly affect others: being a nice person all the time, keeping the peace at all costs, being overly sensitive, expressing oneself in overpowering ways, rigidly expecting conformity, bullying, judging, grasping, cheating, nagging, demanding, working too hard, etc. Level 2 This level includes what are traditionally called the seven deadly sins. These are the underlying drives, tendencies and compulsions which energize the more obvious attitudes and actions of Level 1. Being just below the surface, they can usually be discovered by self-reflection. Other words and phrases may be more useful for disposing directees for the deep-felt understanding that is being sought: spirit of competition, individualism, fear of risking, grudges and resentments, holding on to hurts, drive to impress, drive to be prove oneself, etc.(16) Level 3 This is the area of our Hidden Disordered Tendencies. For the most part, they are often invisible to us. We lack awareness of their presence and their effects on the ways we behave and make choices. When we begin to recognize them, we do not fully appreciate their pervasiveness. Unaware of their influence in our lives, we think that some of the choices we make are in harmony with God's desires for us, but in reality these choices are sometimes skewed. Only God can reveal to us our Hidden Disordered Tendencies which may contaminate our decision-making processes. This holds true for our own private decision-making processes as well as the public decision-making processes in which we engage with others. Level 4 This is the sin that dwells within each of us (Rom 7:20). Christian theology calls it the effects of original sin. Level 5 This is the influence of the `world' on our psyches -- always subliminal, but sometimes conscious. Some guides suggest the use of the seven deadly or capital sins -- pride, lust, envy, anger, sloth, gluttony, avarice -- to help a directee think about the deceptive dynamics of evil which are always influencing our decisions on Level 1. Even though this listing points to realities that are profound and very real, its use here may not yield the depth of awareness that the exercise intends. The religious language intended to name the basic tendencies behind our sinful behaviours may block a profound enlightenment that God desires to give. Thus, if your directee disposes himself by reflecting on his behaviours and attitudes only in terms of the seven deadly sins, the effectiveness of this First Week may be trivialized. Consult the endnote(17) for an example of this. The mystery of iniquity can never be understood by the focus of any one name. Traditionally we have recognized that most of our sins have the seven deadly attitudes as their underpinnings. We even name certain actions as pride, envy, lust, etc. However, other names for our sinful actions may help us to be more effectively disposed for the enlightening grace of God. To know oneself as a "seducer" in one's relationships to others is to say more than to say "lust." To recognize oneself as "needing always to be affirmed" is to say more than to call oneself "proud." To recognize oneself as "being overly concerned about status, dress and physical appearance" is to say more than to call oneself "envious" or "gluttonous." The goal of the Third Exercise is that a directee will come to understand how his own Hidden Disordered Tendencies affect his decision-making and choices. A perceptive prayer guide may even have a clue as to what a directee's hidden tendencies might be and how they may affect his choices. But remember that these tendencies are hidden from a directee. As humans with only partial knowledge -- because we can never be totally self-reflective -- and with the effects of our own sin and that of others, we are blind to our Hidden Disordered Tendencies even though our friends and colleagues experience their symptoms. We are not aware of these tendencies even when people have been pointing them out to us for years. Only God can reveal them effectively to us! When you encourage your directee to pray this exercise, you are inviting him to gather and understand the different parts of his life. It is like assembling the parts of an old puzzle. Encourage him to work on that small corner of the puzzle for which he seems to have a number of significant pieces. Some of the pieces do not belong because they come from a different puzzle! Some of the pieces may be lost. Others might be found if he were to look hard enough for them. One memory touches off another. The other brings to mind a significant remark from years ago that someone made about him. As he looks over the pieces one at a time, he may suddenly locate an unexpected piece. But he will never be able to put all the pieces together -- our personal mystery is such that no one is ever able to do so! In dialogue with God through the Colloquies, hopefully some discovery will be made together: "... and as you do this, you will find another piece that you will be able to place in the picture.... Simply wait and pray. Hold up these pieces and ask for the gifts of enlightenment and a deep-felt understanding with a sense of abhorrence. Then, hopefully, at some time, God will pull all the pieces together for you. It may only last for a short while. Only then will you be able to appreciate how much we are caught in a web of evil ... and yet God is continuously protecting us." Summary Specifically: Note how directee has entered into Second Exercise, and encourage, notice and accent: Concreteness; Realism; Growth in self-knowledge; Repetition. Note what needs Repetition: greater Consolation, greater Desolation or some emerging insight. Encourage this for first few days of following week. Don't let directee "miss the forest for the trees." Introduce Prayer Unit 8: Reflect on last week's attempt in f) period; Explain a few terms; Give examples and/or model of Hidden Disordered Tendencies; Indicate that the Grace is one of enlightenment and not self-analysis, although a little analysis with God is important; Explain Triple Colloquy and Graces. ___________________ Chapter Nine Practical Questions About The First Week Signs Of Readiness For The Second Week Extending The First Week Introducing Prayer Unit 9 1. What do you listen for as your directee talks about his experience of the Third Exercise? The same things that were mentioned in the last chapter; that is, concreteness, realism, growth in self-awareness, need for Repetition. Hopefully your directee is being very honest with God and himself and is working with the "stuff" of his life: values, aspirations, faults, virtues, interpersonal relationships, relationship to the world, etc. By this time you would expect to note some consistency and connections between his own personal themes. What you are hearing ought to fit with what you know of him thus far. Hopefully he has begun to make these connections himself because such connections manifest growth in self-awareness and freedom. 2. Should your directee be told to search for his basic disorder? Not necessarily. For some, this could be a helpful tool, but it is superficial. In many instances, looking for a basic disorder will not yield the kind of deep self-knowledge for which your directee should be disposing himself. The basic-disorder concept was popular in ascetical instructions several decades ago. At that time, directees were instructed to search for one root cause that was behind all the other manifestations of their faults and sins. I do not believe that there is one root cause in people's experiences of faults and sins. Though the concept of basic disorder is not present in the Exercises, the concept of disorder is. Notation [63] asks a directee to pray for an understanding of the disorder present behind his actions. This picks up one thread of the concept of disorder from notation [57] which instructed him to ponder his sins from the viewpoint of the disorder within them, even if there were no explicit laws against them. This thread refers to the disorder of sin. The other thread concerning the concept of disorder is in notation [16]. There you are given an instruction on how to help your directee when he becomes aware of an Inordinate Attachment. The example here explicitly refers to a disorder behind an attachment to something good. His attachment is inordinate because it is based on something other than an interior movement of God's love. This is the disorder of Inordinate Attachments. For Ignatius, any activity, along with the choices implied, is disordered when it does not proceed from the impulse of God's love [173], [174], [184]. In the Exercises, there is no mention of the kind of basic disorder that is considered to be the root of all others. The closest idea to this concept is the image of a shrewd army commander who attacks us from our weakest side [327]. In classical drama, heroes come to their downfall through one tragic flaw. Often too, in our own experience of ourselves or of each other, we notice how one pattern of one weakness tends to be more dominant than others. If you prefer to use this concept, you ought to realize that it is merely a mental construct or an instrument meant to help one grow in self-knowledge concerning the mystery of evil that defies all comprehension. There is little use in going on a searching campaign to discover one's basic disorder because it doesn't really exist. A directee does not need to enter the Exercises journey to discover that most of his faults are rooted in pride! What a prayer guide and directee ought to expect is the kind of affective and freeing enlightenment which can come only through God's grace. By way of example, imagine two different directees. First, there is Joe who, tending to be quite programmatic, has little self-awareness. Joe goes on a searching campaign for a whole week and comes up with the different ways he has failed. He concludes that it must be pride that is behind his disordered actions and sins. Fairly happy with himself, he comes to you and says, "I finally found my basic disorder. I need to be in control; pride is behind everything I do!" Then there is Jean who has been growing in self-awareness since she began the Disposition Days. At first, she noticed how she succumbs to panic over small events which do not bother others. Then, she discovers that this happens when things do not turn out the way she anticipated. She notices also that when these anxieties surface, she splurges on new but unnecessary items for her wardrobe. As a six-year-old child, she used to hoard her dolls when she didn't get her way. She now recognizes that her present unnecessary purchases of clothes to ward off anxiety is a repetition of that very infantile pattern. As prayer guide, you have a sense that she is working with the stuff of her life. No doubt, some of this has surfaced from the natural processes that take place in the psyche of a person who has an open attitude to life. Perhaps this may be too psychological, but that is all right for now. Meanwhile she continues to pray for God's enlightenment while doing this introspection. She holds herself open to the possibility that God will juggle and combine some of her insights. Then in one interview, she comes to you and says, "This past week, God has shown me such great love, but at the same time, I have been appalled at how I have been so distrustful of God ... of my husband and of life itself! ..." What is the difference between Joe's "needing to be in control and pride" and Jean's "distrustfulness"? Joe's insight is no different from that of a person who sits at his desk and figures something out. Jean's enlightenment has the quality of surprise to it, with an affective dimension that is recognized as coming from God. This latter enlightenment touches a number of aspects of Jean's life. It is meaningful as she intuitively has a sense of its ramifications. There is a grateful quality about the discovery, and with it, there is a sense of God's presence. 3. How are the Graces of the Third Exercise usually experienced by directees? What do they "look like on the hoof"?(18) Each directee is going to experience these Graces differently, but there are some common elements: At some point there is a holistic insight, both whole and unitive. With it, the directee experiences the evil in his life as a web which infiltrates all his actions. He is appalled by it. This holistic awareness is often expressed with one meaningful word which you recognize by its affective component and sense of God's presence. It makes a great deal of sense to the directee: "I have been so selfish all these years!" "I have always had to have my own way. I could never give in.... I can see this all over the place!" "I have never really ever accepted the gift of life. I've fought God all these years.... For so long, I have held a grudge against God and in everything I do." At the same time, the directee experiences God as still loving and saving him from the appalling effects of his own self-deceit. The directee also frequently recognizes that though he has been so blind all this time, somehow he was still responsible. He recognizes that he has in actuality, been a conspirator with this evil! There is a sense of hope. Note that the one word or one phrase used by a directee to describe his own sinfulness is not necessarily the root or basic disorder -- it is merely a deeply affective metaphor expressive of the interior knowledge proceeding from a moment of grace. At another point in time, God may reveal another word or phrase that will cluster around itself those personal experiences and choices he recognizes to be evil. The reality of his sinfulness still remains mystery, but through this enlightening grace, he receives the interior knowledge of it, and at least for now, he is somewhat freed from its effects. 4. What do you do when your directee does not seem to benefit from the Third Exercise? Supposing your directee has received some gifts he was praying for earlier, I suggest the following: Patience, wait, patience.... Pray for your directee with both reflective and intercessory prayer. Remember with God: Those blocks that he encountered before; Some of the key insights that surfaced during past interviews; So-called solved issues that may be surfacing again. Ask your directee how he feels about not receiving these Graces and suggest that he bring these feelings to the Triple Colloquy. Suggest some penance. Make some changes in method or content of prayer. Don't lay great expectations on your directee who may not be destined to receive these Graces at this time. Follow the advice given in notations [6], [7], and [321]-[324]. 5. Should you move your directee to the Second Week if you don't think he has been receiving the First-Week graces? Theoretically, you should not move your directee onwards unless he has received at least some of these graces. However, when giving the Exercises as an instrument of formation, I would not hold a person back beyond two or three weeks. The reason is that the frustration of being stuck may do him more harm than moving him on. Secondly, the block preventing the reception of these graces may surface within the Second Week. Thirdly, the blockages could involve some barrier between yourself and your directee; perhaps both of you are too close to it at this point -- a question of not perceiving the trees for the forest. 6. How is penance helpful during the First Week? In notation [87], Ignatius gives the three reasons for penance during the Exercises journey. The third reason -- to seek and find some grace or gift the directee desires -- is the most significant. Penance is more of a gesture than anything. It is another form of prayer. Through some penance, the directee expresses to himself and to God, in some external way, that he desires the kind of openness he needs at this moment. It is a way of bodily manifesting his desire to remove any obstacle to love that might exist. It is important never to think of penance as bribing God to do what he wants; that would be adding obstacle to obstacle; namely, the obstacle of thinking that he can earn what he is seeking. The kinds of penance to choose are those which are more symbolic of a directee's interior desires and dependence on grace.(19) In other words, the kinds of penance which are symbolic, small and seen only by God are better than the kinds of penance about which he is liable to be proud! As Fleming comments, decisions regarding the use of penance follow the same principles involved in the decisions to change prayer postures from time to time. The directee does not make a change if God's grace continues to be operative in leading him. At certain times, penance seems to be called for, whereas at other times penance would add a jarring note to his prayer.(20) 7. What adaptations in material and method might be helpful for directees who seem stuck at the time of the Third Exercise? Sometimes, it helps to teach some form of the Jesus prayer as a part of the prayer exercise. Also it is helpful to use different scripture texts with the Triple Colloquy according to your directee's needs. Here are some examples that deal with sinful effects from one's own personal sin or from being sinned against:
> Rom 7:14-25 | I cannot do the things I want to do -- experience of helplessness.
> Rom 5:1-11 | We were still helpless when Christ died for us sinners.
> Lk 8:26-39 | Gerasene Demoniac -- experience of sin as being bound by an alien power.
> Lk 16:19-31 | Rich man and Lazarus.
> Lk 18:9-14 | Pharisee and publican.
> Jn 4:5-42 | Jesus and the Samaritan woman.
> 2Sam 11:1--12:14 | David's sin, Nathan's allegory; David does not see his own sin -- You are the one.
> Mk 7:14-23 | What comes out of a person makes one unclean; evil intentions emerge from our hearts.
> Often, directees must deal with healing issues before considering sin issues. In our age of psychological literacy, we know so well how past hurts block significant memories. Usually when blockages are evident at the same time to both prayer guide and directee, the directee's psyche is ready to allow such memories to surface for God's enlightenment. A rule of thumb is that if the psyche needs to keep the memory repressed, the blockage would not be as evident to the directee. However, in some instances, this rule of thumb may not hold. Therefore, when you propose healing passages, the repressed memories may still not surface and the resistance may continue. In such situations, it would be better to move your directee forward. The memory might surface later in some other context or it may never surface. Remember this most important life principle: "Not everything deep in one's psyche has to be dealt with in this life!"(21) Often it is very helpful at this point to ask your directee to use guided imagery on a passage of scripture. A form of a guided imagery technique could be used with the Raising of Lazarus (Jn 11). Here you might suggest to your directee that he imagine himself bound like Lazarus in the tomb: "Imagine yourself like Lazarus actually in the tomb; you are bound with long and strong bands of white cloth.... Feel them holding you back.... Each strip of cloth represents some aspect of your life which prevents you from being spiritually free ... or some aspect of your past experience that somehow still binds you.... Yes, you have been sinned against.... Be with it.... Imagine Jesus, the Risen Lord, coming, weeping, and calling you forth...." Such guided imagery can help in releasing those areas of your directee's life where he needs to be touched. But this approach should only be used with the type of person who has already shown signs that it would be helpful. It should not be used with persons who show some signs that it would touch off repressed areas of the unconscious that neither you nor he may be ready to deal with. When in doubt, don't suggest a guided imagery approach with such a specific focus. Less threatening, and often just as useful, is Gospel Contemplation. Here you merely suggest that your directee enter imaginatively into the gospel event without the specific focus above: "...and if you find the gospel passage too difficult to use with your imagination, simply talk to Jesus about your difficulty and the feelings surrounding your difficulty.... But I wouldn't force it if I were you.... Try to be there. Or, at least, reflect about what would happen if you were there...." Such an approach invites your directee to try, gives a wide variation of possibilities, and allows him a freedom that respects his readiness to go only to the depth to which he is able at this time. The following two examples show how such a use of Gospel Contemplation can be effective. These are examples of directees who are able to use their imagination without too much threat. Both examples use the story of the sinful woman who washes Jesus' feet with her tears (Lk 7:36-50). The first is Carl. He has served his diocese well in the past decade. His peers have often suggested to him that he enter the diaconate program in his diocese. Over the years, he achieved both success and honour by working in the various parish campaigns. He is a money-raiser and he is a money-giver. He has no pretensions. He has always helped those in less fortunate circumstances because he feels so fortunate in the good things of this life. He is a moral person. However, when he comes to pray for that interior knowledge of his sinfulness, the results have been quite bland. He admits that he "sowed his wild oats" as young man, but at this time in his life, he says, "I still struggle with the usual lustful imaginings and get upset with the sloppiness of my teenaged children.... Thank God I don't have any really big sins any more! ..." Last week, his prayer guide gave him the story of the sinful woman and suggested that he use the method of Gospel Contemplation: Ca: I prayed twice last week on that Luke passage you gave me. I spent a great deal of time admiring how Jesus dealt with that woman. PG: You were struck by that woman.... Ca: Yes ... I was.... I don't really know whether I would have as much courage as she did. PG: Where were you in the event? Ca: Oh, I was there. PG: Yes, but where in the room? ... way in the corner? ... near Jesus? Ca: Oh ... no ... Why, I was one of the guests.... (long pause) ... I was on the other side of the table from him.... The woman, she was at one end and I was at the other end. PG: What about Simon? Ca: He was talking with Jesus ... why ... close to the woman (said quickly). PG: What did it feel like being at the other end of the table? ... (long pause) Ca: I didn't pay much attention to that. PG: Loving, perhaps? ... Peaceful? ... Anxious? ... Confused? Ca: A bit fearful, I think.... That woman had something I don't have. PG: She showed you a side of experience with which you are not familiar. Ca: That's right ... and ... I was sort of ... embarrassed ... like the Pharisees. So this leads into a whole discussion about a stance towards life of the self-righteous, good person who thinks he can earn his way into heaven. With that, the prayer guide sends him back to prayer with the Triple Colloquy suggesting that he ask for that interior knowledge of his Hidden Disordered Tendencies which interfere with God's love in his life. Susan represents a similar example. She has a problem seeing herself as a real sinner. She was past president of Women Aglow and was frequently mentioned publicly for her role in the founding of a new, L'Arche group home in her region. When she recounts what happened during her prayer on the same passage from Luke, the prayer guide notices that she was somewhat in the event, but watching as if from a far corner of the room. Earlier in the interview, she indicated how irritable she had been during the week. This is not usual for her; except for the occasional stressful situation, she finds it very easy to be poised, polite and political with everyone. The discussion that follows finally leads you to ask: PG: But why didn't you kneel down with the sinful woman or ask her to take her place? Su: But why should I? ... I'm not like that woman! PG: But you have helped a lot of people like her over the years.... What were your feelings towards her? Su:: Well, I knew that she was very sorry for her sins. PG: She certainly must have been to do that. How did you feel towards her? Su: I felt ... (somewhat confused and a little defensive) ... well, I guess I don't know. PG: Let's try to get hold of it.... Let's pause for a few moments and try to get hold of this. How did you feel standing there, watching and knowing that you were not like that woman? Su: (after a longish second pause) ... Ah, I guess a bit out of it, awkward perhaps.... She didn't need my help.... I felt sorry for her. PG: You felt awkward and sorry for her ... like you do with the people in the L'Arche home? ... Sympathetic perhaps? Su: I don't really know.... No, not sympathetic.... (The dialogue at this point leads the prayer guide to suggest that Susan make Repetitions on this Lk 7 passage.) PG: Bring your awkwardness back into your prayer and be with it. Express it to Jesus. Wait there until you experience a sense of completion. Keep using the Triple Colloquy during each exercise. (Next week Susan comes back with a big smile on her face.) Su: You know I have been struggling with something for two weeks now. I think you sensed it all along. It surfaced in those Repetitions. I didn't tell you but I didn't want to make them.... I actually look down and despise those persons I am kind to! No wonder my associates have felt uneasy working with me. I am not compassionate at all.... I have always been very smug in everything I do.... I cried ... and I asked Jesus for his forgiveness. I also asked Mary for her forgiveness. The Triple Colloquy has become very easy now! 8. What are some issues that commonly block the reception of the First-Week graces? Most issues that lie behind a directee's difficulty during the First Week are connected to some aspect of a directee's refusal to accept his creaturely condition -- issues that deal with limitation, dependence, control of life, etc. Most issues, however myriad their forms, attempt to prevent God from being God and try to reduce life from mystery to problem. To understand the reason for a directee's struggle, it is helpful to ask yourself some of the following questions: a) What false theological assumptions seem to be operative in my directee? This question may surface issues such as these: If he were to admit that he is a sinner, he assumes this would make him worthless. He assumes that he contributes to an evil environment only when he is intentional in his actions. He assumes that it is necessary to fix himself up before he can allow himself to be loved or forgiven. If he were to take responsibility for his present life and admit his own sin now, he assumes he will have to pretend that the past wounds which disposed him for this sin are not there! He assumes that if he were to forgive someone who habitually betrayed his trust, he would have to trust that person again and pretend that the betrayal would not happen again. b) How does my directee try to control life? God? me as prayer guide? friends? This question may surface insights into his system of control such as these few examples: He deals with difficulties in life by carefully controlling the data and paying no attention to ambiguity. He tries to control events in life by denying his real feelings about his experiences. He feels only what has been "proper" to feel. His life with God is contractual. He explains things in minute detail. He fears being rejected so profoundly that he spends time giving endless explanations. This is his way of exercising some control; it will appease others and excuse him from taking responsibility or feeling incompetent if he gives a complete explanation for some things. In order to discover how your directee controls life, you will need to take into account some of his characteristics you have observed so far -- the way he preserves his self-esteem, the kinds of images or phrases he constantly repeats, the way these characteristics create barriers for him in prayer. In noting how your directee defends his life, it is important that you be free from projecting your stuff on him. In other words, you need to be free from interpreting your directee's experience according to the issues that were present behind your own experience of sin awareness. Just because you were in need of healing does not mean that your directee is in need of healing. Just because anger or emotional abuse happened to be part of your ways of thinking about your own earlier experience does not mean that your directee has to come to terms with his anger or forms of abuse. Just because you used to deny your feelings in your life does not mean that your directee is denying his feelings. Where you were helped by being challenged to focus more precisely on some aspect does not mean that such a challenge will benefit your directee. You have to be free from the "spiritual therapy" that helped you when you were on the Exercises journey.(22) 9. What are some of the signs that your directee is ready to enter into the Second Week? Two or more of the following "typical" experiences would be a sign that your directee is ready for the Second Week: A deep-felt experience of God's acceptance and mercy; A desire to know his personal benefactor more; Gratitude with a readiness to serve in any way God might call; The experience of some pain at having looked at himself; A sense of peace in his own sinfulness; An experience of Jesus as personal and as saving; An experience of some Graces that Ignatius has suggested; The experience of sin as impotence with a deepening realization that he is helpless without the power of Jesus; A certain amount of recognition that he has been hard-hearted; Greater freedom;Prayer coming from the heart and a deepening of the Contemplative Attitude; Greater honesty and simplicity. 10. How do you introduce Prayer Unit 9? Often directees resist praying the Fifth Exercise and prayer guides resist giving it because the imagery is thought to be medieval. Remember that the imagery of the Fifth Exercise -- such as "weeping and gnashing ... eternal fire ... flames" -- is biblical. We ask directees to use their imaginations on other biblical images so why should we not ask directees to use them here. In ages past, the fear of being condemned to hell along with the literal belief in its existence prevented directees from entering into this exercise. In our present age, the cultural disbelief that eternal loss is even possible may present a hurdle both for the directee and for you. Always remember that the Fifth Exercise is an exercise on God's faithful protection and kindness. This is beautifully expressed in its last sentence [71]; namely, "I shall also thank God for this, that up to this very moment God has shown God's self so loving and full of mercy towards me." The loving mercy that Ignatius refers to is like God's protective care for the Israelites while they were being led out of Egypt with the pillar of fire. This exercise disposes your directee to appreciate what he is `being saved from.' You hope(23) that your directee will receive an overwhelming appreciation of how God has been nurturing him all along the way. Hopefully he will realize, on all the levels of his being, how he needs God even more than he can imagine, not only for his continuing growth in love, but more for his ongoing responsibility in cooperating with others in the establishment of God's household through his conscious choices. In introducing Prayer Unit 9, listen to your directee's experience of the f) period from the previous week and note how he has related to the material -- with apprehension? willingness? docility? avoidance? fear? misunderstanding? Help him where needed. Sometimes the difficulty he has encountered may be a helpful Desolation which is a typical prelude to the hoped-for grace. Sometimes the difficulty is a useless Desolation due to some simple misunderstanding that can easily be corrected. The following are examples of some useful comments a prayer guide might make: This Fifth Exercise is in reality an exercise in God's mercy.... The Roman church has never taught that there is anyone actually in hell.... The point is that eternal separation from God is a real possibility.... Julian of Norwich used to think of herself as a little lump of God's mercy ... like a hazelnut in one's palm.... You are an extension of God's love. God is saving you right now from that possibility.... Now you are alive, now you are being saved from the inertia of your own sinfulness! Then you might suggest an alternate way of entering into this exercise: "Take one of your disorders that we discussed last week ... for example, that under-the-surface resentment towards your brother which you had forgotten. Remember you discovered how it has been influencing many of your reactions to and decisions concerning your fellow employees. Do you remember talking about that? ... Well, now, what would happen to you if your resentment were allowed to grow without correcting it? You know that incident of teasing you mentioned. What would have happened if your partner at the job took it the wrong way? And if then you reacted against him, what might the consequences be? Now taste it (pause); smell or taste the reaction (pause).... Take this hidden resentfulness and with your imagination see what would happen if you let it get worse, and worse, and worse.... Now hear it (pause), smell it (pause), taste it (pause).... Now you are imaginatively in hell. That is what, at this very moment, God is saving you from!"(24) For the d) period of Prayer Unit 9, suggest the Fourth Exercise. Different directors have different theories about its use and the suggestion placed here in the d) period represents just one of the approaches for the Fourth Exercise.(25) Some directors do not propose this exercise at all. Others make very little distinction between the Fourth and the Third Exercise. Others use the exercise only if there has been such an emotional experience that the directee feels the need to spend time, as it were, catching his breath. When mature persons experience their personal reactions too intensely, they find it appropriate to distance themselves somewhat from the overwhelming situation and use some technique to understand and judge what has been going on. 11. How do you extend the First-Week process when someone is not ready to enter the Second-Week process? Here are some suggestions: Reread the suggestions to question 7. Give Prayer Unit 9 again. Choose some scriptural texts from the passion. Choose some of the suitable scripture texts placed under the heading Additional Readings from any of the prayer units thus far. 12. How do you extend the First-Week prayer material if you judge your directee to be in transition in which the First- Week process is coming to completion and probably will before your next session with him? The scripture texts conveying the images of Jesus as the "good shepherd" and the "bread of life" are helpful for this. Here is a sample listing of these and other themes which harmonize with both the First- and Second-Week themes:
> Jn 10 | I am the good shepherd.
> Ps 23 | God is my shepherd and gracious host.
> Ps 121 | God is my personal guardian and protector.
> Ezk 34 | God will personally lead as a shepherd.
> Jn 21:15-19 | Feed my lambs.
> Jn 6 | I am the bread of life.
> Ps 103 | Kindness and mercy of God.
> Eph ch 1-3 | God's saving love throughout history.
> Jn 1:29-34 | Behold the Lamb of God -- my Benefactor.
> Jn 8:12 | I am the Light of the World.
> Jn 12:31-36 | When I am lifted up, I shall draw all to myself.
> Jn 15:1-17 | I am the vine; you are the branches.... You did not choose me, I chose you.
Endnotes For The First Week 1. "If it waddles like a duck, quacks like a duck, flies like a duck, call it a duck!" (Thank you to Joseph McArdle, S.J., for this one.) "Don't scratch where it doesn't itch!" (Thank you to John Haley for this one.) 2. These directees are basically beyond the notation-[314] type of person who could care less whether they sin or not. The temptations of the notation-[314] persons are more "serious" than those which Ignatius calls gross and obvious [9]. 3. Please note that what we popularly mean by gross, blatant, and obvious temptations is not what Ignatius meant by "gross." Read again notation [9] and take note of his examples. They are not temptations to embezzle, murder, abuse others, behave promiscuously, refuse others a humane standard of living, etc. In this manual, consult Chapter 29, "Guidelines For Discerning Spirits," p.409ff 4. Hopefully, after several interviews and as the Exercises journey is under way, your directee will be able to express in chronological order what has taken place in his prayer experiences. This becomes more and more important as he enters the Second Week because this practice gives both you and your directee a way of appreciating the movement of spirits important in the decision-making process. Spiritual movements are not simply one's reactions in a moment of time. Reactions, both spiritual and psychological, develop, move forward, move backward, come to a greater fullness. So often, directees tend to report the results (their conclusions, their thinking after the movements have taken place!) of the movements rather than the movements themselves. Directees will usually give you what they consider the most important experience first and pay very little attention to what went on before and after. Others will report only their more recent experiences and it takes a rather long time for them to appreciate that a significant interior movement may have led up to this recent phenomenon. 5. The experience of Desolation can have various meanings as exemplified in notations such as [7], [10], [13], [16], [322], [327], etc. 6. Roman Catholic directees may want to do this in preparation for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. 7. William A. Barry, S.J., "The Experience Of The First and Second Weeks of the Spiritual Exercises," Review for Religious, vol. 32 (1973), pp.102-109. For a presentation of this same model in the context of the Conversion Cycle, consult the section entitled, "During The First Week Of The Exercises," in Chapter 32 of this manual, p.499. 8. Consult Chapter 30, "Different Perspectives In Understanding And Using The Exercises," p.457ff 9. Thank you to Petin Romallo, S.J., who gave me this seminal and very useful insight in 1969. 10. Trivialization takes place on many different levels -- with humour, with repetitive news reporting, with talk shows which reveal people's private worlds, with gossip columns, etc. On the other hand, the media has also created righteous expectations of our leaders in public life. 11. In human relations theory, you have moved from feeding back and clarifying what the directee is expressing, to helping him notice the meaning that lies behind what he is expressing. 12. It is for this reason that Repetitions are placed in the very first prayer unit. 13. Compare the various places in the Exercises where the Triple Colloquy is recommended: [63], [147], [156], [157], [167], [199]. 14. The world affects us in many ways, some more obvious and others more subtle. In an obvious way, the term `world' refers to our environment of greed, competition, materialism, workaholism, and our affluent need to possess things. More subtly, `world' implies the influence of our culture which prejudices the way we listen to God's word and, hence, the way we choose to act upon it. This is the world that keeps us trapped in our mind-sets and mental structures. These, in turn, govern the way we help prevent our social and economic structures from being more responsive to grace -- a vicious circle. Through our mental structures, we make choices that support the institutions that influence our thinking and choosing. It is important to realize that a directee usually receives enlightenment about the `world's' influences on his Hidden Disordered Tendencies only when he is already conscientized to this possibility. Only then can God's word influence him more deeply. When there has been teaching and cultural awareness before the Exercises journey, some breakthrough on this deeper level is likely to occur. Your role is to attend to those gentle hints and glimmers surfacing in your directee's prayer experiences and to help your directee notice them. They may be God's attempt to challenge his worldview. 15. It would be interesting if a directee were to invite his spouse, children or close friend to list his faults. 16. At times, the use of tools like the Enneagram can help to communicate a heightened awareness around the existence of a pattern of characteristic compulsions which influence our private and public choices. Take some examples: A tendency to take care of other people's needs while avoiding the acknowledgement of one's own needs -- as in Twos on the Enneagram; A compulsion to succeed and to avoid failure -- as in Threes; A compulsion to wallow in one's own uniqueness -- as in Fours. Naming such a pattern can help a directee connect the more subtle aspects that are associated with the pattern. It can give a directee a way of thinking, provided that he does not reduce all the aspects into one cause or root which would be a variation of the basic-disorder approach and a false kind of psychology. 17. Take this hypothetical example of Jim Acoa, a directee who is an adult child of an alcoholic. He has learned to socialize by attending to the needs of others in an over-responsible way. He tends to overwork. Jim talks about negative experiences of life in somewhat intensive ways. He is a good mimic. He perceives his relationships with others in terms of hurt, pain and frustration. The descriptions he gives and uses to reflect on his own experiences are usually exaggerated. He takes things too personally and is defensive when anyone appears to differ from his positions. Behind this is a fear of making mistakes. Jim needs to be so good that he won't be abused by others in the way he was by his alcoholic mother. Jim Acoa is somewhat psychologically aware of the historical dynamic rooted in his family of origin. He has grown in some practical self-knowledge through twelve-step groups and some occasional counselling. He is aware of his resentments and also aware that he doesn't always know how he feels. He has not sufficiently understood his need for overwork. More importantly, he seems to have little awareness that he always seeks the affirmation of others. Whenever he engages others in a conversation, he focuses the attention on himself. Jim Acoa doesn't recognize that, in the choices he makes both in his public and private worlds, he has to be the centre of attention. He has to take centre stage. He has extreme difficulty in letting others be acknowledged. This quality has interfered with working cooperatively with others at work. At home his feelings and needs have to be put before those of his wife and his children. He entered the Exercises journey with the question whether he should seek a different career opportunity which entails team work and working with volunteers. The point is that if Jim Acoa were to pray for the gift of enlightenment by using only the capital sin of pride, it would likely be of little help in disposing him for the understanding of the Hidden Disordered Tendencies which probably will affect his career choices later on in the Exercises journey. 18. Thank you, George Schemel, S.J., for that phrase along with so many of your other helps in understanding the dynamic of the Exercises. 19. Perhaps all that your directee will need is a few suggestions on your part and he will know for himself what would be a suitable penance. Some suggestions might be: visiting a home for the aged, removing the snow for an older couple in the neighbourhood, reading or not reading the editorial pages of the newspaper for the week, etc. If your directee is from the Roman tradition, you might even suggest one decade of the rosary while kneeling with arms outstretched. 20. Consult David Fleming, S.J., Draw Me Into Your Friendship, p.75. 21. Myrna M. Small, Mystery, Psychology and Common Sense (Guelph, Amadeo Press, 1991), p.35f. 22. Sometimes a prayer guide focuses on an obvious defense mechanism of her directee and she attempts to deal with it like a dog chewing on a bone or like a heat missile seeking its target. Such an approach can be devastating in the sense that it can cause transference and countertransference. We must always remember this truism: What is most obvious to us in another person is the least obvious to the person himself! I believe that, on a psychological level, some of the last things we deal with in life are the very aspects that seem so obvious to others. Jesus said something about trying to take the match-stick out of your neighbour's eye and not dealing with the log in your own eye! It is always a safer approach for a prayer guide to deal with these issues by letting them go and paying more attention to the directee's agenda and to his own models of self-understanding. If something is surfacing in prayer that you perceive to be connected to such an obvious defense mechanism, it is always important to suggest a spiritual perspective that gives freedom for your directee's psyche to avoid it if he is not ready to deal with it. 23. I do not believe that the intention here is that your directee should work up a fear of hell in himself. The issue behind the Grace, expressed in notation [65], about the remembrance of the pain of hell, is reminiscent of the difference between `imperfect and perfect contrition' in the Roman Catholic catechetical tradition. I think Ignatius puts these two Graces together because he intends that this exercise be used in a variety of ways such as that expressed in notation [18], and in other ways; for example, teaching the basic catechism, evangelizing with the basic Christian message, preaching a special revival series. In the Latin Vulgate version of the Exercises, there is an additional note added to notation [71] which suggests that further meditations on death and punishment for sin might help during the First Week. But for directees of notations [19] and [20], this note does not fit the emerging interior dynamic which moves toward the expected grace expressed so well in the last sentence of the prayer exercise before the Colloquy that ends the First Week. It may fit some evangelizing and preaching situations. It seems to me that this added note is also an example of how Ignatius envisaged that the First-Week text be used for persons with different needs in a variety of settings. 24. Thank you to John E. LeSarge who helped me develop this example. 25. Different approaches to this Fourth Exercise are given in the revised edition of my Orientations, Vol. 1, p.130. Go to Table Of Contents Of Orientations Volume 2